Pregnancy tales: Scan day

Today is scan day. The anomaly scan. 20 weeks. It’s been eight weeks since I was last “sure” and feels like eight weeks of a held breath.
My fears have varied. Superstition has crept in. I can’t even allow myself for a minute to commit words to a page about the experience, lest loss take our babies.
I had hoped to share the joys, the vomity thrills and spills, the ups and downs of carrying these two wishes within, but the terror even of writing a few lines to express the relief which comes with each sensation of movement, in case it might be jinxed and all will come tumbling down, is simply too big.
I speak of my fears but far, far less of my hopes. I look for portents everywhere. I wait. 

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